Life goes on. Sometimes it feels tragic to think about, but life really does go on. It’s hard to imagine life without the people we love and how wrong it is that he or she will not be on the sidelines cheering for you as you move through life. They will never be there to comfort me when I need it most. But life does go on. I wonder what they would be like now, or how they feel of what I’ve accomplished in my life. I carry this sense of wonder with me in everything I do, but it’s my way of keeping them with me while living my life
Anything can happen. Anything happens all of the time. Life is short, life is scary, and life is beautiful. With all my losses, I’m seen first hand how life is short it truly is — how all of it can go away in a split second. Perhaps the greatest gift and struggle yes struggle. I struggle most days to get thru the day. I’ve try to live my life as fulfilled as I can . Some days it’s beautiful and fun, then some days I’m paralyzed. Sometimes knowing how life is to short can feel to real. It makes you feel stuck, anxious, and scared of losing everyone you love.
At times I’m Afraid to pick up the phone, fearful of bad news on the other end. I’ve even found myself trying to beat this game of life, to somehow solve it all and keep the people I love around me
There is no such thing as closure.
I existed in a heavy fog. It took years for the pain to fade, for the words “your mom is dead”your dad is dead, your sister is dead, your brother is dead your grandchild is dead , your other brother is dead to stop pounding in my head—but they did….and when the pounding stoped I heard the words all over again . I feel it more on holidays and anniversaries,
I’ll always wish they were was still here. I’ll always wonder what they would look like and what they would be doing if they were still alive
I move on and through. But my losses will remain with me for my whole life—just like they were supposed to.
