Suicide of Robin William and my Brother Dennis

 

            Suicide of Robin William –I read an article in today’s paper Laredo Moring Times by Christine M, Flowers from the Philadelphia Daily News. She wrote about hearing the news of Robin Williams’s death and her thoughts and personal grief of suicide. I read the article and tears rolled down my cheeks of my personal grief our family suffer in 2004.

 I remembered my brother Dennis death in November 2004; he was only 47 years old.

 We grew up close together we were only 2 years apart and did everything together when we were young; I moved out of my parents’ home first and only saw him when I visited my parents’ home. I started visited him more than usual due to our father passing away in April 2004 he had more responsibility now in managing the grocery & liquor stores. We the family knew about his drug habit and tried to get him to a rehab center but nothing worked I offer him our home to live with me but he refused. My older brothers Oscar, J.C. and I would take him dinner every night. My brother J.C. would arrive at the store in the evening and would help stay at the store so Dennis could go home and get some rest before closing.

 Dennis managed to do this 6 months.

When J.C. called me at work around 930am to tell me he found Dennis dead at the store apparently Dennis had been sleeping in the store and not going home, he died of an overdose of heroin & cocaine.

When I heard that he was found dead I too felt a pulling pain. It was a physical and mental hurt pain. What the writer writes is the sadness of survivors, anger of not being able to help. I too feel that way.

 In my mind my brother Dennis committed suicide by using heroin and cocaine together and made the choice of ending his life.

I know he felt the pain that our family had experienced of all the deaths (Mom 1999, Norma 2001, Dad 2004) that had occurred and he could not handle the stress, depression of our father’s death. Dennis adored our father he was his hero.

 I know about depression it runs in the family and Dennis took drugs to handle his daily living.  

Depression is an illness that needs attention as the writer writes depression is coming out of the shadows of shame.

Robin Williams made everyone happy and laugh out loud, my brother Dennis did the same as the writer writes but they were unable or unwilling to manage their hidden pain.

I too am depress and taking medication, having all the deaths in our family is unreal for any family it started in 1998 with Ashley my niece ,1999 my mom, 2001 my sister, 2004 my dad , 2004 Dennis, 2007  my brother JC, 2008 my grandson Miguel. The last death of Miguel I realized I needed something in my life to help me in my daily living I was depressed and did not work for 3 months until the medicine kicked in.

It’s hard for me at times but one gets thru the day with prayer, meds and exercise.

As she writes at the end of the paragraph -in their honor, we need to stretch our hands out to those who are falling off the cliff and scream at the top of our lungs “stay”.