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Introduction to Day of the Dead

Introduction to Day of the Dead

November 1, All Saints Day, and November 2, All Souls Day are marked throughout Mexico by a custom that vary widely according each region in Mexico. Common to all, however, are colorful adornments and lively reunions at family burial plots, the preparation of special foods, offerings laid out for the departed on commemorative altars and religious rites that are likely to include noisy fireworks.

In most localities November 1 is set aside for remembrance of deceased infants and children, often referred to as angelitos (little angels). Those who have died as adults are honored November 2.

The spirits of the dead are expected to pay a holiday visit home and should be provided with an enticing repast and adequate sustenance for the journey. Frequently a wash basin and clean hand towel are provided so that visiting souls can freshen up before the feast. The offering may also include a pack of cigarettes for the after-dinner enjoyment of former smokers, or a selection of toys and extra sweets for deceased children.

In setting up the altar, a designated area of the home is cleared of its normal furnishings. The arrangement often consists of a table and several overturned wooden crates placed in tiers and covered with clean

linens. The offerings are then laid out in an artistic and fairly symmetrical fashion. The smell of burning copal (incense) and the light of numerous candles are intended to help the departed find their way.

Meanwhile, at the family burial plot in the local cemetery, relatives spruce up each gravesite. In rural villages this may entail cutting down weeds that have sprouted up during the rainy season, as well as giving tombs a fresh coat of paint after making any needed structural repairs. The graves are then decorated according to local custom. The tomb may be simply adorned by a cross formed of marigold petals or elaborately embellished with colorful coronas (wreaths) and fresh or artificial floral arrangements. In many areas children's graves are festooned with brightly colored paper streamers or other festive adornments.

Suicide of Robin William and my Brother Dennis

 

            Suicide of Robin William –I read an article in today’s paper Laredo Moring Times by Christine M, Flowers from the Philadelphia Daily News. She wrote about hearing the news of Robin Williams’s death and her thoughts and personal grief of suicide. I read the article and tears rolled down my cheeks of my personal grief our family suffer in 2004.

 I remembered my brother Dennis death in November 2004; he was only 47 years old.

 We grew up close together we were only 2 years apart and did everything together when we were young; I moved out of my parents’ home first and only saw him when I visited my parents’ home. I started visited him more than usual due to our father passing away in April 2004 he had more responsibility now in managing the grocery & liquor stores. We the family knew about his drug habit and tried to get him to a rehab center but nothing worked I offer him our home to live with me but he refused. My older brothers Oscar, J.C. and I would take him dinner every night. My brother J.C. would arrive at the store in the evening and would help stay at the store so Dennis could go home and get some rest before closing.

 Dennis managed to do this 6 months.

When J.C. called me at work around 930am to tell me he found Dennis dead at the store apparently Dennis had been sleeping in the store and not going home, he died of an overdose of heroin & cocaine.

When I heard that he was found dead I too felt a pulling pain. It was a physical and mental hurt pain. What the writer writes is the sadness of survivors, anger of not being able to help. I too feel that way.

 In my mind my brother Dennis committed suicide by using heroin and cocaine together and made the choice of ending his life.

I know he felt the pain that our family had experienced of all the deaths (Mom 1999, Norma 2001, Dad 2004) that had occurred and he could not handle the stress, depression of our father’s death. Dennis adored our father he was his hero.

 I know about depression it runs in the family and Dennis took drugs to handle his daily living.  

Depression is an illness that needs attention as the writer writes depression is coming out of the shadows of shame.

Robin Williams made everyone happy and laugh out loud, my brother Dennis did the same as the writer writes but they were unable or unwilling to manage their hidden pain.

I too am depress and taking medication, having all the deaths in our family is unreal for any family it started in 1998 with Ashley my niece ,1999 my mom, 2001 my sister, 2004 my dad , 2004 Dennis, 2007  my brother JC, 2008 my grandson Miguel. The last death of Miguel I realized I needed something in my life to help me in my daily living I was depressed and did not work for 3 months until the medicine kicked in.

It’s hard for me at times but one gets thru the day with prayer, meds and exercise.

As she writes at the end of the paragraph -in their honor, we need to stretch our hands out to those who are falling off the cliff and scream at the top of our lungs “stay”.

RESTART BUTTON !!!   

                                                                                         

                                                                                           

                                         

 We are deep into the season of heat and flies! That means it begins to feel like a long slog to me. Vacation is far off in the distance, the air-conditioner is working overtime. We keep planning a vacation but it is seems that it always in the planning stages, we just have to do it.
 It’s not necessarily a seasonally-related thing, it’s a heart-centered thing, but for me, it always seems to hit in Summer and Christmas.

Without warning or reason, my life gets a heavy feeling. And it can be especially crazy when everything seems just fine. Life looks the same––to everyone else ----but not to me and somehow it feels different.

There is not a big problem to deal with I actually take a little comfort in knowing that something small might set me right again, like a yoga class, guitar/ piano lesson, a weekend away with a friend. If my life feels out of balance, I’m probably not getting enough of what really keeps me going and brings real, meaningful pleasure to life. It seems like a big blah/smog

But sometimes a person requires more than just a little reminder of what you care about. You want to reboot, have a clean slate, a restart button, an IV to get the life put back into me ….. I’m ok with having the routine––the ritual of going to work, eating lunch at my desk, drinking coffee in the morning, my art work does help, BUT the desire for a fresh start in a way that surprises me.

The craving for neat, tidy house, office, and vehicle must in some way be a reaction to my life’s messiness. I sometimes feel overwhelmed with the reality of what is; the view of what could be is appealing. A fresh start, for sure, would make things more manageable, more organized, happier. That’s the thing about the unknown: we always think it could be better or like my mother would say ---the grass is not always greener on the other side.

I ‘m here today wanting to ask about a useful way I can have a fresh start in the day-to-day routine. I wanted to ask how you give yourself that clear sense of a new beginning when you’re having difficulties in life. And I still want to know, for sure. But at times it occurs to me that a having the need to reboot my life is a question of how to make peace with one self and others in an everyday situation. I’m not saying I want to change my life , and yes I have bad days and good days I’m rarely in a bad mood and most of the time I go with the flow of the moment, I’m very spontaneous and ready to go at the moment notice. 

 I guess having these feelings is being alive! 

Either way, the pain never goes away completely.

Either way, the pain never goes away completely.

My Mother

Either way, the pain never goes away completely. Christmas without my parents or I can really say without my mom… she was the one who would get the FAMILY together at the dinner table, and once we were there it was a different story. I always feel some sort of sadness when a friend says something about their parents, I’m happy for them but there is always a little hurt. The only thing that I can do is to try and surround myself with other family members   and close friends, and do whatever I can to try and get through the holidays. After all, that is what my mom would want for me --to keep moving on in life and surround myself with love and my children.

The first Christmas without your parent is the hardest. My mother was in the hospital during the holidays she past away in January 28,1998. So my sister and I made the Christmas dinner 1997, will we tried too, I remember that I had bought a couple of bottles of wine and so while we were cooking we had one glass then another and another then we decided to leave the cooking and go to the hospital to visit our mom.. she was very ill at this time. So we stayed with her all night.  

No matter how many months your parents have been gone for, Christmas is never the same. It takes time to prepare myself for the Holidays. It takes me a couple of weeks to get in the mood starting with Thanksgiving to even think about Christmas. I get support from my husband he loves the Holidays especially Christmas he is the one who starts to get the boxes out of the garage and starts with the lights and then the Christmas TREE. I also tell him go ahead start I help you in a minute, but that minute will last a couple of days and he will more or less try his best so then I step in and finish the decorating.

I wish there was an instruction manual on how to get through your day without your parent.

The first Christmas without your parent will be the hardest, but for me it was the last Christmas I spent with her at the hospital. When you lose a parent you loose a little bit of your self. A new chapter of your life begins--- it is now just a past memory.

And for the ones who still have both parents this day, you should feel very blessed and thankful and appreciated. If one or both of your parents have passed on, you can still be appreciate the one who is alive, don’t take them for granted.

My daughter told  her brother to answer his phone whenever their dad calls, because some people do not have fathers like them that call just to say hi…Those phone calls will be a gift when they are gone no one can ever take those gifts away from you. They are priceless and they are your gifts forever.

I experience Christmas or any other Holiday differently now. I found doing my art is a distraction to the holidays and the losses that have occurred during the holidays.

I mourn my mother and sister deaths everyday.

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My store is in her store up the stairs 

COME BY TO SEE ALL THE DAY OF THE DEAD ITEMS ..@ FOUND OBJECT & COLLAGE ART by DOLORES GONZALEZ-JARVIS UPSTAIRS LOFT AT Tres Rebecas-- is 117 W Mistletoe  San Antonio, TX 78212

Are you ready to start making gifts and decorations for the holidays? There are so many possibilities for the fall - hollween masks and costumes, Día de los muertos altars, Thanksgiving baskets and table decorations, party invitations, holiday cards, warm scarves, Christmas ornaments, and jewelry for gifts. You'll find the classes and supplies at Tres Rebecas, you just have to find the time

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                  A PEEK OF WHAT YOU CAN FIND UP THE STAIRS 

                      

  

  

   

  

 

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