The Textiles of Mexico have a long history.

The making of fibers, cloth and other textile goods has existed in the country since at least 1400 BCE. 

I have a passion for Mexican color, textures and patterns -as seen in my clothes, home and my art.

I wanted to make my dress to represent the Mexican culture I love.

I made my dress from raw silk fabric and I added a beautiful emerald embroidered belt from Oaxaca,Mexico to the top part of the 

dress and I wore a emerald silk rebozo to our Sembradores de Amistad de Corpus Christi Holiday Gala. 

All items from Mexico that I’m wearing are handcrafts and produced by indigenous people, whose communities are concentrated in the center and south of the country in states such as Mexico State, Oaxaca and Chiapas. The textile industry remains important to the economy of Mexico although it has suffered setback due to items made in China and Vietnam. 

Please check TAGS when buying items that look similar to items made in Mexico? 

New year 2018

The ending of a year brings joy and sadness the past several  years have been a struggle, stressful, depressed trying to get out of the depression is difficult…we can’t help but reflect on past journeys, adventures we’ve walked.
A new year means so much to me, new friends, adventures, new ideas for myself to accomplish this year.
A new art-jewelry journey has come up totally  different from what I’m been doing. A restaurant in Dallas-has request several big art pieces for their restaurant that will resemble mayahuel goddess theme, a children’s clothing store in San Antonio will be selling my new children’s jewelry and art collection, another store in San Antonio has picked up my western theme art pieces and hopefully I’m going to start detail painting small furniture pieces. 

Both my past and future are critical for my creative

The reality is you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it.  You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same again. Nor should you be the same, nor should you want to. .
-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

November... this time of the year Depression starts to come visit me.

I write this open letter with so much ?? Of what ? Don’t know I’m sad, frustrated, teary eye, mad..
This times of the year is very depressing for me
Nov 22, 2004— my brother’s Dennis death,
Nov 24, 2008- my first grandson Miguel death
    It seems like I’m on  roller coaster of emotions this time of the year. 
Grief is a different and unique journey for everyone. We all deal with it the best way we know how in the moment. 
And now that 17 yrs  has passed since My brother Dennis died, and 13 yrs for my grandson , I still don’t know the answer to any of  questions I have of those  days . And more importantly, it doesn’t feel like it’s been that many years.  It still feels so raw and heart-wrenching, like it was only last week.
I can still remember every part of those days it happened. It comes back to me every single day, in points when I least expect it. I might be cooking, painting,  My breath turns short and sharp, and the  shock hits me all over again. That’s the thing about  sudden death; you never get over the shock. I know they are gone. I tell myself over and over, I think that sense of disbelief and shock is what allows me to function, to survive. My insides hurt all over.. And I’m still here having to learn how to live with that empty feeling 
But losing a sibling- grandchild brings more than just grief. It changes you entirely.
I am a completely different person now.  Every day I am trying my absolute hardest to face the day, smile and carry on being the bubbly and energetic person I was before. Each day, each hour, will be different. But I’m still here, and have to continue trying to be and eventually focusing on what I love and doing more of that everyday.

Death / Life

I wrote this last night ... my oldest brother Oscar had a heart attack and was admitted to ICU unit.. he did die but was brought back with the crash cart paddles....He is still in hospital for the next couple of days ..his blood count was dropping ..blood was given and this morning he woke up feeling 50 recent better...I don’t know will happen when he dies ..he does have a damaged heart ..I mean I don’t know how I’m going to handle his death!!
Life goes on. Sometimes it feels tragic to think about, but life really does go on. It’s hard to imagine life without the people we love and how wrong it is that he or she will not be on the sidelines cheering for you as you move through life. They will never be there to comfort me when I need it most.  But life does go on. I wonder what they would be like now, or how they feel of what I’ve accomplished in my life. I carry this sense of wonder with me in everything I do, but it’s my way of keeping them with me while living my life
Anything can happen. Anything happens all of the time.  Life is short, life is scary, and life is beautiful. With all my  losses, I’m seen first hand how life is  short it truly is — how all of it can go away in a split second. Perhaps the greatest gift and struggle yes struggle. I struggle most days to  get thru the day. I’ve try to live my life as fulfilled as I can . Some days it’s beautiful  and fun,  then some days I’m paralyzed. Sometimes knowing how life is to short can feel to real. It makes you feel stuck, anxious, and scared of losing everyone you love.
At times I’m Afraid to pick up the phone, fearful of bad news on the other end. I’ve even found myself trying to beat this game of life, to somehow solve it all and keep the people I love around me
 There is no such thing as closure.
 I existed in a heavy fog. It took years for the pain to fade, for the words “your mom is dead”your dad is dead, your sister is dead, your brother  is dead your grandchild is dead , your other brother is dead to stop pounding in my head—but they did….and when the pounding stoped I heard the words all over again . I feel it more on holidays and anniversaries,
I’ll always wish they were was still here. I’ll always wonder what they  would look like and what they would  be doing if they were still alive
I move on and through.  But my  losses will remain with me for my whole life—just like they were  supposed to.

Whatever who cares

• whatever  who cares     i don't care  i don't give a fuck
i don't know     i don't give a shit
shut up     fuck it   fuck off.  fuck you
not interested   sHut the fuck up
 I don't know.  i don't give a damn   screw it
so what  whatever

I'm 97% sure you don't like me but I'm 100% sure I don't care
nobody cares if you dance well just get up and dance
When someone ask how are you doing , smile and say I'm fine because nobody cares
No one cares their just pretending

You’re not the center of the universe. In fact, no one really cares about you. It’s hard to hear this but true. Sure, you have family and a few great friends. Sometimes they will care, especially when you're going through a rough patch of your life they might help you but nobody gives a shit,  they don't care about you nearly as much as you care about yourself
you're not on top of anybody's mine, nobody cares

You live in a constant state of anxiety  what people are going to say about you The way you dress your hair your shoes do you get a second chance to impress people .? remember  nobody cares
 Nobody cares the way you  dressed what shoes you're wearing what purse you have nobody cares they might be jealous but nobody cares.

If you have been complaining for a long time and it has resulted in little or no support, and repeated requests to drop it and move on, then consider the possibility that this is because "nobody cares" nobody gives a fuck, and whatever how many times have you heard this.?
In the end people are going to judge me
Haha I don't care.

The Significance of a Red Cardinal Sighting

The Significance of a Red Cardinal Sighting
Today started out good , then the depression started to kick in ---thinking about my mother, she's been gone for a long time. I was in bed to rest and Ric came into the bedroom and woke me up to look outside and on the window still was a red cardinal looking into our bedroom...it kept jumping to the glass above the screen and looked like it wanted to come in....
My mom has always been a beautiful
woman and then I suddenly had to face the death of her...I wonder what my journey would be with her!! I don’t take life for granted, I live my life to the fullest... And while my heart aches and my eyes get watery I thank my mom for all the knowledge she gave me..
I looked up google
The Significance of a Red Cardinal Sighting
Messages from Spirit can come in many forms, but the red cardinal has long been held as the most notable spiritual messenger. The male cardinals are certainly hard to ignore with their striking red feathers and melodic yet almost “pay-attention-to-me” chirps. And when they come to you almost insistently trying to gain your attention, it’s likely you’re receiving a message from Spirit.
A Spiritual Messenger
The notion that cardinals are messengers of Spirit exists across many cultures and beliefs.
The cardinal can be associated with many myths and traditions surrounding renewal, good health, happy relationships, monogamy and protection, just to name a few.
If you believe that cardinals are a winged messenger from Spirit, then the next time you see one who is insisting on getting your attention, ask yourself these questions: What or who were you thinking of at that moment? Did you ask for guidance from Spirit or ask for help finding the answer to an important question? Allow your cardinal sightings to bring you a feeling of peace, knowing you are being heard. Let their visits remind you that you are always guided and protected by Spirit. Above all, don’t forget to thank your winged friends and Spirit for their guidance.

Visits from the Other Side

When deceased loved ones want you to know that they’re around, one way they might do that is to send messengers from the animal kingdom: small, brightly-colored bugs, birds and butterflies are not an uncommon choice. Things with wings tend to get our attention, and if you allow yourself to get tuned in, you might even feel who has sent them to you in hopes you’ll receive their message—even if that message is a simple acknowledgement that your loved ones are always around. And if you’re pondering something and asking the Universe for guidance, seeing a cardinal or the like is telling you that you’re being heard and guidance is being offered.

Grieve alone

 Grieve alone. We may have suffered traumatic events that made it impossible for us to have normal emotional functioning. Not only are we then left with unresolved feelings about the losses of parents, siblings, grandchild,  

Many of us suffered the loss of a loved one in a way that was traumatic, or unexpected.

Ive suffered several losses in a short period of time and the mourning process is much more difficult.

I've  suffered for years from depression, patterns of compulsive behavior after the deaths. The depression started after my mothers death and continue and has made it impossible for me to grieve losses .

I continue to tell myself  Whats wrong with you? Why cant you snap out of it and get on with your life? -, Dont grieve.  As we listen to others struggle with their grief, we see that we are not alone. We can begin to identify the factors that cause us to suffer unresolved grief.

 It is normal to suffer pain after a severe loss, but think about suicide is not an option

 

 At the time of the loss, was I told by others, or did I tell myself, to not grieve, or to grieve alone?

 

Original Art -SOLD